“I am convinced that promoting strong marriages is the best way to strengthen the family.” (pg. 269)
*Post is written in behalf of my Family100 College class. Quotes and material are found from ‘Successful Marriages and Families – Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives,’ Chapter 25 A Public Policy to Help Couples Form and Sustain Healthy, Stable Marriages.
“Too many young people’s paths to marriage portend problems down the road (Cahn & Carbone, 2010; Chernin, 2009); relationship and family formation behavior among many youth and emerging adults creates a sandy foundation for a future of marital success. I think the most valuable focus for law and public policy would be to help more young people get to marriage with less relationship baggage and provide them better skills for maintaining a healthy relationship.” (pg. 269)
My bit of advice for those to be married and those currently married… Find each others love language. Ed and I came across The 5 Love Languages book before we were married. Well actually, we had broke up, gone our separate ways and then out of the blue, he calls and asks me “If I send you a book, would you read it?” I said I would, but when I got it and read the title, I laughed and put it aside. My thoughts were – so this is your way of getting back with me? Ain’t gonna happen.
Long story short, when the flame between us sparked again a few years later, I ran back to this book and read it. We talked about it afterwords, took the test and figured out what each others languages were.
(Follow the link and look for the words “-Discover your Love Language-“)
The 5 Love Languages are:
Words of Affirmation. This language uses words to affirm other people.
Receiving Gifts. For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.
Physical Touch. To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.
Quality Time. This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.
Acts of Service. For these people, actions speak louder than words.
Now I won’t say it’s been easy ever since, because it hasn’t. His love language is the hardest for me to “speak” and my language is the hardest for him to “speak.” Isn’t that weird? We have had a lot of growing to do and a lot of “language practice.” Someday’s we score 100%, other days we score 0%. But we are trying and that’s what makes our marriage work.
“Focusing on our own marriages is important. We need to establish them on a firm foundation for success and then work daily to keep them strong.” (pg. 269)
“If love is a language, I’ll use words.
If love is a gift, I’ll give till it hurts.
If love is affection, I’ll move closer to be only yours.
If love is time, you have all mine.
If love is to serve, I’ll wait by your side.
And I’ll always find a way to say I love you more.”